kind regards

Dear Mary
I started going to church some time ago.

I go to look for some sort of hope or guide.

There was an old couple recently Jean & John, The priest was dedicating the mass to their "golden wedding celebration".. 50 years of marriage.. as the priest proceeded to bring them to the front of the church to bless them I could see the joy on their faces as they humbly accepted the invitation

They looked so happy, the church was packed with all their life long friends and family all cheering for them..

I started to think about all the times in their life when they had to really work at staying together, the times I'm sure they broke up or doubted the feelings they had for each other, I thought about what they both sacrificed, what they gave up for each other in a time before all the family and friends, Yet as I looked at the joy on Jeans face I could see that in that moment all the hardships I'm sure they suffered meant nothing,

I could see in her eyes that it was all worth it because they had each other, they did it together and as the priest blessed them and awarded them with a plaque from the pope I could feel their love overwhelm the room and I couldn't help but envy them.

I would trade anything for that.

It was at the moment I allowed my self to imagine, suddenly as I looked up to the alter I didn't see Jean anymore.

I saw you, your smile was big and proud, your face and body were alive and as I watched you I could see that in that very moment you had found all the freedom you had seeked for so long, you had everything you ever wanted.

As I took a deep breath and let the air fill my lungs I finally felt relief and happiness for you.. It seemed all your struggle was worth it.

As I come out of my day dream I realize " Mass has ended, you can go in peace".. I walk over to the side of the church as I do every week and I light two candles, one for you and one for my daughter.

I ask god to let both your lives burn as bright as these flames.

I pray that you are strong, that you find peace, I pray that one day I will get back what I lost with daughter without all the ugly words and bad deeds.

I ask that my prayers are answered as I offer the last of the hope I have left.

You will inspire the hearts & minds of many.. We will always believe in you.